True Freedom

He will swallow up death for all time, And the Lord GOD will wipe tears away from all faces, And He will remove the disgrace of His people from all the earth; For the LORD has spoken.

Isaiah 25:8

On Memorial Day in America we look back on the sacrifices that were made to gain and protect our freedom. These are good things to reflect on and be grateful for, remembering we weren’t owed such sacrifices yet they are the catalyst to our current lifestyle. Remembering is good in cases like this.

Sometimes remembering can be detrimental to us. I look back too often on my mistakes and regrets and this causes me anxiety. I get trapped in cyclical thinking about what I could have done differently and how things may have played out better in different situations.

Enough.

God already said He will remove the disgrace from His people. He’s already done everything in order to reconcile us to Himself. The chains have been broken. We should bask in that promise and learn to forgive ourselves. If God forgives us how can we still hold on to our failures? Are we better than God that we are justified in our un-forgiveness of our own selves? We should forget all that just like the Word of God says He does…

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Psalm 103:11-12

God doesn’t expect us to forget everything. Besides, all the past experiences good and bad make us the version of ourselves we are today and the even better version we will become in the future once we inevitably have more experiences and resources and knowledge. Maybe fully forgetting isn’t the best way to learn. Maybe we should take the past as a lesson learned and do better, however don’t dwell on the past. Peace doesn’t live in the past or in the future or in memories or even in our minds. Peace resides in the present.

Peace comes from God and one way to have the peace of God in uncertainty is to remember God’s goodness as it’s written in Psalm 77. However, God makes a point to say we should “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past” and He continues with, “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:18-19

God is always doing a new thing in our lives and although Jesus said in John 13:7 “You don’t understand now what I am doing, but someday you will”, He wants us to trust and obey as well as walk in the freedom Jesus died to give us.

Why are we walking around like we still have a death sentence dwelling on our past screw ups? We’ve been set free! For those of us who believe Jesus is the Son of God and trust Him as our only hope of salvation, our shame has been undone. UNDONE.

God, I confess I walk around like I still have a death sentence at times. If I had been on death row, guilty of a horrific crime, and an innocent person chose to die in my place and lovingly let me go free, I would be forever grateful. I’d be aiming to live my life to the fullest, giving them constant thanks for each breath I don’t deserve. I only have a chance at a life of freedom because of their sacrifice. That’s reason to celebrate and share my redemption story. That is what those who fought for our freedoms we so lavishly enjoy did for us. Moreover, that’s exactly what you did, Jesus. Not only are you innocent, but You’re the Son of the Most High God. You’re the King of Glory. Royalty, yet You willingly gave Your life for mine. Thank you! Forgive me for taking what You did for granted instead of fully enjoying Your sweet freedom. I’m not bound by the chains of sin and death any longer. You have set me free! Help me live and thrive in the freedom You died to give me. Amen♥️

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

2 Corinthians 3:17

Photo Credit: christ.co.ke

God vs. The Unexpected

May 11, 2023. The most terrifying day of our lives. Its not something I want to celebrate, however it’s definitely something to reflect back on. It’s been 2 years today and what followed were some of the darkest days we’ve ever been through. Never could we have imagined what would happen. There aren’t enough words to describe what we have been through. No one can understand and I would never want anyone to understand. I can’t even understand and I lived it. When the ambulance doors closed as I sat in my car watching so I could follow to the nearest hospital equipped to treat stroke patients I said out loud “This is life altering”. I had no idea how true that was. It was indeed life altering in the most horrifying ways.
I have been dreading this day knowing this milestone would fall on Mother’s Day. It’s a hard thing to process. I still haven’t accepted that my healthy 51 year old husband had a stroke. A brain stem stroke at that. The fact that he is still here 2 years later after a brain stem stroke followed by all the other mysterious undiagnosed episodes is an absolute miracle. Most people that have ischemic brain stem strokes don’t survive long enough to even make it to the hospital. But God. God still has a purpose for Jimmy’s life even though he’s lost so much of what he believes made him who he is; his talents: singing, playing the guitar and piano, drawing, painting, perfect penmanship, and teaching people in fun ways about the Word of God – all those talents are gone. We pray some of that will return, but if it doesn’t, he’s still alive and has a purpose. He is still brilliant and he is back at work running the IT Department at the hospital with strength and confidence. He does a good job at everything he is able to do. He’s still determined, positive, encouraging, hopeful and enthusiastic about our future which is so inspiring. It’s miraculous.
We’ve seen God use this event in so many ways for our good. I have stumbled and even crumbled many times in the past 2 years, but my God is a redeemer. He restores. He is always waiting for us to turn back to Him. He loves to bring beauty from ashes. I believe we have already seen that and the best is yet to come!
So many people have supported us during this difficult season. Way too many to name. We’ve experienced an incredible outpouring of love and we are so appreciative. We could never repay all the people that have worked and helped in so many ways showing the true love of Jesus to us as we were suffering and afraid.
So I was dreading today but now I’m simply grateful. Grateful Jimmy is not only alive, but living life. Grateful for God’s restoration. Grateful for God’s perfect plan even if it’s way different than mine. Grateful for my boys and all they’ve learned through this. Grateful to be their mom. Grateful for my beautiful granddaughter who is an absolute ray of sunshine in our lives even on the darkest days. It shows even the tiniest light shines brightly in the darkness. Grateful for healing, physical and emotional. Grateful for salvation in Christ alone.
Happy Mother’s Day with all my love, especially to my mother who I often take for granted but I never stop needing!🌷

P. S. May is Stroke Awareness Month. Know the signs and symptoms. It can happen to anyone at any age even with few to zero risk factors. Act F. A. S. T. (Facial drooping/numbness, Arms weakness/numbness, Speech slurring/difficulty speaking, and Time – acting quickly is crucial) It could mean the difference between life and death or recovery and not recovering.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
‭‭Romans 8:28

“so that from the rising of the sun to the place of its setting people may know there is none besides me. I am the Lord, and there is no other. I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the Lord, do all these things.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭45‬:‭6‬-‭7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭61‬:‭1‬-‭3‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Faith>Fear

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭31‬:‭8‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Fear holds us back in life more than anything. There are all kinds of different fears people have that hold them back from reaching their dreams and full potential. 

This doesn’t apply to everyone, however I think the fear of letting others know who we REALLY are is one of the biggest threats to real connections with other people. Not only romantic relationships, but our relationships with friends, coworkers, church friends, family members, everyone we encounter. 

Fear causes us to wear proverbial masks, and there are many to choose from depending on present company. I’ve always found it incredibly interesting yet terribly sad that when we first meet someone we feel more free to speak about anything, however once we get a peek behind their mask or they see behind ours we tend to clam up. 

Before any life experiences I expected it would be the opposite. Once we got to know someone we would be more free to be ourselves was my initial thought. Unfortunately, sometimes what happens when we get to know someone, we tend to understand more about their likes and dislikes so we try to conform to what we perceive they want us to be. That’s a big mistake. 

We should never keep relationships that cause us to be anyone other than who we are. We shouldn’t have to be around people that don’t fully accept us. 

For every one person who we aren’t their cup of tea there are at least 100 others that see our value. Those are our people. They see our shine and they like our presence. They are the core members of our life groups and we should keep them close as they keep us close in a give and take reciprocal and respectful relationship. 

Don’t be afraid to be yourself. God made you how He intended you to be. Discover that and live in it. Whoever falls away from us for being ourselves are meant to go. Let them. Let them go live their best life. The main thing is that you live your best as well. 

Life is too short to live in fear. Both fear and faith demand us to believe in something we cannot see. Choose faith. 

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”

‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭11‬:‭1‬ ‭NIV

Faith also saves us from eternal separation from God our Father. What a reason to chose faith…

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭2‬:‭8‬-‭9‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Christmas With a Side of Disaster

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

Isaiah 43:2 NIV

Have mercy on me, my God, have mercy on me, for in you I take refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed.
Psalm 57:1 NIV

After many years of suffering through illness, and the loss of a house, my family and I believed God for a home of our own again. He miraculously provided us with a house in January of 2017, and we gave Him thanks and praise. We rejoiced and took nothing for granted. We were humbled and thankful. Before we were even fully settled in, 8 months after the closing of our loan, our home was flooded by hurricane Harvey. We had no flood insurance. Our lives were completely turned upside down. We didn’t understand, and we were hurt. My boys had been in awe of how God had been so good to us, and then they didn’t understand why all our stuff was ruined, including the house God had gifted us. It made me question God’s love & His ways because, as a parent, I can’t imagine allowing that to happen to one of my children when I could have stopped it. He could have stopped it. He could have not let us buy that house, or He could have stopped the storm from coming. He could have stopped the water. He could have done so many things, but He chose not to, and I do not understand that. It hurts me to type this because I know my Heavenly Father is always good, and I’m not. He remains faithful, even when I’m not. He’s God, not me. Who am I to judge Him?

As Christmas approaches, I am facing the thought of celebrating our first Christmas in our new home somewhere else besides our new home, since it isn’t exactly livable. After moving in the house, we had spent the entire year looking forward to the holidays. We discussed where we would put the Christmas tree, and could not wait to bring out our decorations. Christmas 2016, we were unable to decorate at all because we lived with my parents as we were saving to buy this house. All those little dreams were crushed when the water came pouring into our home on the evening of August 29, 2017. I have been in tears many times since that night, feeling sorry for myself and my boys. I wanted to rise above, be strong, and testify about how the flood was a blessing. I wanted God to use our testimony to encourage others, and lead them to a saving knowledge of Christ, but I am failing Him, as per usual. I am a mess most of the time. I have days that I am hopeful, but unfortunately, it does not last long. I am on a roller coaster of emotions.

BUT… something unexpected happened this week as I began to look around and remember what Christmas should be about… A thrill of HOPE.

Imagine with me, right when you’re feeling overwhelmed and weary, there is a sudden burst of HOPE! That’s what a thrill of hope is!
And, that’s what we experience at Christmas as we celebrate the truth that God is with us. Oh, let’s dwell on the thrill of hope that we have today! And let’s rejoice big time.

– Jennifer Rothschild

Jesus. Hope. God with us. Maybe if the flood had not come and temporarily taken away what we were so in love with – our home – we would have forgotten that Christmas is about celebrating the birth of our Savior. Jesus came out of Heaven, to this broken Earth, for us. If He had not, we would all be doomed to actual hell. What a gift He gave. It cannot be earned. We could never be good enough to cover our own sins.

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing: it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

-Ephesians 2:8-9

Jesus knew we could never measure up, so He willingly came. He made a way for all to enter Heaven. That’s the gift we should be focused on this year, not our home with all our brand new contents, or whatever it may be that you are putting your hope in. I believe God is showing us through this loss, among countless other things, that houses and belongings come and go, but He’s constant. He’s our Safe Place. He’s our Home.

Lord, through all the generations, You have been our Home!”

– Psalm 90:1

As we walk the concrete floors, partially covered in brown paper and sheet rock dust, we must remember this is only a vapor of time. Yes, it’s hard, but it isn’t the end of us. We can still have Christmas, and we will. How much more we will remember the “first Christmas we spent in our new home”? How sweet is it that no matter where we are, we are all together, celebrating Jesus? There will be a time when we can no longer say that. Even then, we will need to hold on to this… Christmas isn’t about where we physically live, or what we possess. It’s not about made up traditions, cozy fantasies, or magical experiences. It’s not even about our families. It’s about Jesus. If we are fixed on anything other than that, we have it all wrong.

What Is Your Life?

What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be.

-Unknown

I have noticed it many times in different situations. Most prominently when we go to estate sales. You walk through these homes, and see all these things the owners have accumulated. Most of the sales are being held to empty out the home of the owner who recently died. There are all sorts of things… pots & pans, furniture, books, clothing, luggage, vintage stuff. I have even seen graduation gowns for sale at these sales. Why do we keep these things? No one is going to buy that. It means nothing to anyone but the parent of the child that wore it. A lot of times there is medical equipment too, like dialysis chairs, bed pans, wheel chairs, oxygen tanks, etc. The house holds everything that made up the lives of those who lived there… but they are gone now. You can’t meet them, you can’t talk to them, and you can’t ask them about their stuff. I walk through and pick up things, and I imagine… I can see children running through the house. I can see the mom standing at the stove preparing meals for her family to serve on those plates now for sale. I can see the dad sitting in the recliner watching the news. Then the children grow up and move out and there are a few precious years of adjusting to an empty nest before the parents grow old and all the medical equipment has to be brought in. One spouse dies, then the other, then the children have to divide all the “assets”. The house is not their home anymore, and it is sold to another family, and the cycle starts over. What did those lives mean? What did they accomplish? They have all this stuff that meant so much, yet meant absolutely nothing. And that’s the “best case” scenario. Sometimes the lives have been tragically ended too soon for some of the family members. Those are even sadder existences.

“yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes”.

-James 4:14

Everything we strive for seems so pointless in light of the end of this earthly life. I think nothing matters in this world except leading others to a saving knowledge of Jesus. I had an idea in my mind when I was young, but it was never part of God’s plan for me. The harder I strived for it, the further away it got, until finally we fell off the cliff. We had to hit the bottom of the ravine to be lifted back up, but not back to where we had been.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts”.

-Isaiah 55:8-9

To a higher place. The place we had been meant to be all along, if only we had been FIRST, seeking the kingdom of God and His righteousness as the Bible instructs in Matthew 6:33. Instead we were walking along like these robotic people that followed the way we thought we should go. The way everyone before us had gone.

God’s love is poured out in the Bible chapter by chapter, verse by verse, so we might understand and accept that His intentions for us are as unique as a snowflake and as extravagant as an ocean sunset.

-Gwen Smith | Proverbs 31 Ministries

God created each of us for a specific purpose and only we can fulfill that purpose for His glory. There is no need to try to be like someone else.

“I will give to each one a white stone, and on the stone will be engraved a new name that no one understands but the one who receives it”.

-Revelation 2:17

It’s taken years, and many painful, tearful days, and lots of battle scars, but I finally see we were never meant to have the perfect life, the perfect marriage, the perfect jobs, the perfect house, with the perfectly maintained yard, and the perfect vehicles, and the perfectly clean & tidy home and garage, going to the perfect church, with the perfectly popular kids who excel in all they attempt (and they attempt it all because they are perfect), and I stay at home and cook the perfect meals, and I am perfectly organized in my schedule, having all things clean, stocked, and provided. IT’S NOT ABOUT US!!! It’s about Jesus! We are here, we are saved, but we are imperfect in EVERY WAY, and we are supposed to be a light in the darkness. Light for the lost and broken people. We are why Jesus came. He didn’t come for the “perfect” people. He came for the broken, scarred, and hopeless. He is Hope, and He came that we can have hope, and we can offer hope to those like us… broken, but still here. We are only here for a small sliver of time. We don’t have much of an opportunity to make a dent in billions of lost people in this world. We must share the good news of Jesus with great haste. People are dying and slipping off into Hell all around us… and we dare to worry about OUR “problems”??? We are destined for Heaven! Everything else here is just gravy! I have this vision of passing through because that’s really all we are doing… passing through… and my arms are outstretched, and I am scooping up as many lost people as I can on my way through and bringing them with me to Heaven. That is why I am here. Not to “succeed” by the world’s standard of success.

It has not been easy to come to this understanding, and as I come into the realization of it, all I can do is think of my 3 sons. I didn’t teach them that. I spent their childhood trying to accomplish goals and “get there” in life. I taught them about Jesus, and they have all made a profession of faith, but I didn’t teach them that Jesus, a real & rich relationship with Jesus, and furthering His Kingdom is ALL that matters. Yes, we have to have certain things to survive, but we don’t have to accumulate “stuff”. We don’t have to try and “keep up” with others. Our kids can learn that what is important to some people doesn’t have to be important to us. We have to know what is important, and that is eternity.

I have fought a long, hard, exhausting battle to get here. I have been down so far that I thought I was defeated. It appeared I would not be able to overcome the attacks of the devil. He fought hard against me and my family. He has pulled off schemes I never dreamed possible… BUT GOD never gave up on me. We are not defeated, and if it took this “mess” to get me to understand, I’m am grateful for every last “failure”.

Fully, 100 percent chosen and fully, 100 percent known. Every good and bad thing… known! It didn’t keep Him from giving His all for us, and He still keeps giving. Many can’t know the power of this sacred privilege until they struggle enough in life to understand their need for it.

-Mike Colaw

He has restored, and is continuing to restore what was lost through the broken relationships, the moves, the disappointments, and the perceived failures. He has given us a testimony while we were busy making plans for our life. If only I had realized this sooner, a lot of pain could have been avoided, a lot less people would have been hurt, a lot of regrets wouldn’t exist… but I have to believe He is going to use it all for good (Romans 8:28). There’s no room for bitterness, resentment, anger, jealousy, regrets, or anything like that in a heart for Christ.

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.

-Ephesians 4:31

Thank You, Jesus, for allowing me to be teachable. I know I still have much to learn.

You’re making me like You

Clothing me in white

Bringing beauty from ashes

For You will have Your bride …

Free of all her guilt

And rid of all her shame

And known by her true name

And that’s why I sing …

Your praise will ever be on my lips

-Bethel Music | Ever Be