affliction

God vs. The Unexpected

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May 11, 2023. The most terrifying day of our lives. Its not something I want to celebrate, however it’s definitely something to reflect back on. It’s been 2 years today and what followed were some of the darkest days we’ve ever been through. Never could we have imagined what would happen. There aren’t enough words to describe what we have been through. No one can understand and I would never want anyone to understand. I can’t even understand and I lived it. When the ambulance doors closed as I sat in my car watching so I could follow to the nearest hospital equipped to treat stroke patients I said out loud “This is life altering”. I had no idea how true that was. It was indeed life altering in the most horrifying ways.
I have been dreading this day knowing this milestone would fall on Mother’s Day. It’s a hard thing to process. I still haven’t accepted that my healthy 51 year old husband had a stroke. A brain stem stroke at that. The fact that he is still here 2 years later after a brain stem stroke followed by all the other mysterious undiagnosed episodes is an absolute miracle. Most people that have ischemic brain stem strokes don’t survive long enough to even make it to the hospital. But God. God still has a purpose for Jimmy’s life even though he’s lost so much of what he believes made him who he is; his talents: singing, playing the guitar and piano, drawing, painting, perfect penmanship, and teaching people in fun ways about the Word of God – all those talents are gone. We pray some of that will return, but if it doesn’t, he’s still alive and has a purpose. He is still brilliant and he is back at work running the IT Department at the hospital with strength and confidence. He does a good job at everything he is able to do. He’s still determined, positive, encouraging, hopeful and enthusiastic about our future which is so inspiring. It’s miraculous.
We’ve seen God use this event in so many ways for our good. I have stumbled and even crumbled many times in the past 2 years, but my God is a redeemer. He restores. He is always waiting for us to turn back to Him. He loves to bring beauty from ashes. I believe we have already seen that and the best is yet to come!
So many people have supported us during this difficult season. Way too many to name. We’ve experienced an incredible outpouring of love and we are so appreciative. We could never repay all the people that have worked and helped in so many ways showing the true love of Jesus to us as we were suffering and afraid.
So I was dreading today but now I’m simply grateful. Grateful Jimmy is not only alive, but living life. Grateful for God’s restoration. Grateful for God’s perfect plan even if it’s way different than mine. Grateful for my boys and all they’ve learned through this. Grateful to be their mom. Grateful for my beautiful granddaughter who is an absolute ray of sunshine in our lives even on the darkest days. It shows even the tiniest light shines brightly in the darkness. Grateful for healing, physical and emotional. Grateful for salvation in Christ alone.
Happy Mother’s Day with all my love, especially to my mother who I often take for granted but I never stop needing!🌷

P. S. May is Stroke Awareness Month. Know the signs and symptoms. It can happen to anyone at any age even with few to zero risk factors. Act F. A. S. T. (Facial drooping/numbness, Arms weakness/numbness, Speech slurring/difficulty speaking, and Time – acting quickly is crucial) It could mean the difference between life and death or recovery and not recovering.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
‭‭Romans 8:28

“so that from the rising of the sun to the place of its setting people may know there is none besides me. I am the Lord, and there is no other. I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the Lord, do all these things.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭45‬:‭6‬-‭7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭61‬:‭1‬-‭3‬ ‭NIV‬‬

April 11, 2024 – almost a year out and he was actively having debilitating episodes except for on this day! Thanks be to God for letting Jimmy attend and enjoy Caison’s and Madison’s gorgeous wedding 🤍🖤

Afflicted

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I haven’t written a blog post that could be published in a long time. I have been bitter. Bitter at life and God. Jimmy had a stroke on May 11, 2023 and it destroyed our lives as we knew them.

After the shock wore off I was ready to tackle the situation and do whatever I could to get Jimmy back to himself. That didn’t happen. My efforts were futile. It hurt. I was mad.

I eventually tried to renew my relationship with God. I looked back over journals and scriptures and declarations I had written down and that only made me more bitter. I had tried and look what happened! The unthinkable. The unimaginable. Why even try? Why put the work into a relationship with God when He allows such affliction?

I came across a journal entry I had made from probably 3-4 years ago. It started with how much I had always loved this verse:

And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left. Isaiah 30:21

The thing is, the verse before says:

Though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide Himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher. Isaiah 30:20

This is why we should never cherry pick verses. We need the full context to understand God’s Word. All the famous verses people like to refer to are often cherry picked. For example, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Yes that’s great and that’s a great verse, but in context, you’ll see that Paul was talking about the ability to overcome hardship and persecution as a Christian, not playing select baseball or dancing on a high school drill team. We have learned to minimize the Word of God applying it to insignificant or mundane daily life. We should always apply God’s Word to our daily lives, however, there is a fine line between using it and twisting it.

So anyway, back to affliction. No one wants to talk about that but it’s all over the Word of God. He speaks of using affliction in our lives multiple times. To name a few-

Before I was afflicted, I went astray, but now I keep your Word. Psalm 119:67

It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes. Psalm 119:71

He delivers the afflicted by their affliction and opens their ear by adversity. Job 36:15

But the needy will not always be forgotten, nor the hope of the afflicted ever perish. Psalm 9:18

And this one doesn’t mention affliction specifically but pretty poignant when it says,

Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again from the depths of the Earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again. Psalm 71:20-21

These are some verses that most won’t bring up but, affliction is part of life and we need to know that BEFORE it strikes us so we’re prepared to lean on Jesus during our affliction as “we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose”. Romans 8:28

I know I need Jesus. I can’t do life without the Author of it. I want to draw close to God so He will draw close to me as the Word of God promises in James 4:8. I am praying, reading the Bible, and studying the best way I know how. I began reading a book given to me by a friend. It’s second chapter is about Joseph vs. Potipher’s wife. As I read the story, the Holy Spirit impressed upon me something very important and eye opening: Joseph was nothing but faithful yet his life is riddled with affliction. He never said “I tried and You let awful things happen to me.” No, he just remained faithful wherever he was and whatever life threw at him… and so did God.

In chapter 39 of Genesis you will read that God remained faithful to Joseph. It says the Lord was with Joseph and he prospered (Genesis 39:2). No matter his circumstances, Joseph always lived in God’s favor. God promoted Joseph even in prison (Genesis 39:20-23). This was a total epiphany for me. How could I believe I could be good enough to make only good things come my way especially when I’m not good at all?

Thank you for new revelation Lord Jesus. Your Word is alive and active and I well know that now. Help me remain faithful even in affliction; certainly in affliction. It’ll all be worth the Crown of Life in the end. Eternal life is the gift only You can give and I thank You for it.